Death in the Victorian Era part 5: 
Victorian Funeral Etiquette

Outside of our Indigenous past, Australia's settlement saw people emigrate from across the globe. It was not just Europeans who came to the Great Southern Land, but also Chinese, Afghans, Indians, and many other nationalities. With this influx of new people came differences in religious doctrines, beliefs, customs, and practices surrounding death and funerals.

Our main influence during the Victorian Era, however, was that of our British rulers. We followed many of their traditions, although we adapted them to suit our own climate and, over time, became much more relaxed than the English regarding rules and regulations.

The influence of Victorian Britain can still be seen today in the way we design and present our cemeteries, as well as in many of the customs, stigmas, and formalities that continue to surround death and burial.

The following is an example of Victorian-era funeral etiquette.

The management of a funeral would generally fall upon the most competent family member or friend, preferably someone not overwhelmed by the death. Failing this, responsibility for the arrangements would pass to the family's local priest or clergyman, and if he was unavailable, to an undertaker.

The expense of the funeral was expected to reflect the wealth and social standing of the deceased. However, it should avoid becoming overly opulent or gaudy and instead retain an air of dignity and sorrow appropriate to the occasion.

Invitations were acceptable for those who might not yet be aware of the death or who lived far away. These invitations were to be delivered by private messenger and should include details of where the funeral procession would depart from and where the burial would take place. Etiquette dictated that the messenger would arrange transportation for invited guests and that anyone invited in this manner was expected to attend.

The family was entitled to view the deceased first. 

Invited guests would follow but were not permitted to arrive during the hour immediately preceding the funeral. During this period, and after the family had paid their respects, guests could view the body of the deceased at their discretion.

It was customary for a person, usually a close friend of the family rather than a relative, to act as an usher, receiving guests and showing them to their seats.

Upon entering the house of mourning, gentlemen were expected to remove their hats and not place them upon their heads again while inside the house.

It was considered extremely rude to laugh, speak loudly, or expect conversation with the immediate family during the funeral. Any animosities towards the deceased were expected to be set aside and forgotten.

After the remembrance service, the priest, clergyman, undertaker, or person conducting the funeral would enter the first carriage. The coffin would follow in the hearse, while the six pallbearers would walk three on each side of it, although in some instances they travelled in a carriage preceding the hearse.

The carriage directly behind the hearse was reserved for the immediate family of the deceased, followed by other relatives.

While the coffin was being carried by the pallbearers, and while the funeral procession passed, all guests, both male and female, were expected to uncover their heads and bow as a mark of respect.

In some areas, mourners were permitted to place white flowers or blossoms upon the coffin before the procession departed the cemetery. If the deceased had served in the Navy, Military, or occasionally the Police Force, a sash, sword, flag, or other memorial adornment might also be laid upon the coffin

At the cemetery, the clergyman, or person conducting the funeral, would enter first and lead the mourners to the graveside. The pallbearers would follow with the coffin and, once the mourners had gathered, lower the deceased into their final resting place. The clergyman would then recite the final prayers before the mourners departed for their homes.

“The people of Australia have settled upon no prescribed periods for the wearing of mourning. Some wear them long after their hearts have ceased to mourn. Where there is profound grief, no rules are needed, but where the sorrow is not so great, there is a need for observance of fixed periods for wearing mourning.”

Australian Etiquette, Melbourne: People's Publishing Co., 1886.

NEXT WEEK: Death in the Victorian Era Part 6: The Graveyard Walker.

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