Death in the Victorian Era part 5: 
Victorian Funeral Etiquette

Outside of our Indigenous past, Australia’s settlement saw people emigrate from across the globe (it wasn’t just Europeans but also Chinese, Afghanis, Indians and many more nationalities that came to the great southern lands). With this influx of new people, came differences in religious doctrines, beliefs, customs and practices involving death and funerals.

 Our main influence though, in the Victorian Era at least was always that of our British rulers. We followed much of their traditions, although, we adapted them for our own climate, and over time became much more relaxed than the English about rules and regulations.

 The British, Victorian Era influence is still felt today in how we present and design our cemeteries, and much of the culture, stigmas and formalities that surround death and burials.

 

 The following is an example of Victorian Era etiquette regarding funerals.

 Management of a funeral would fall upon the most competent family member or friend, who isn’t overwhelmed by the death, failing this, the funeral details would be seen by the family's local Priest, and if he was not available, an undertaker.

The expense of the funeral should reflect the wealth and social standing of the deceased person. The funeral, however, should avoid becoming opulent and gaudy, and retain a sense of sorrowfulness for the loss of the loved one.

 Invitations are acceptable for those who may not be aware of the death, or who live far away. The invitations should be sent via private messenger and should include the location the procession is to leave from, and where the burial will take place. Etiquette dictates that the private messenger will acquire carriages for all invited and that all invited in this manner MUST attend the funeral.

 The family are to be the first to view the deceased remains, and invited guests are to follow, but must not be present  1 hour before the funeral start – in the one-hour period before the funeral start, and after the family has finished, the guest may view the body of the deceased at their discretion.

 It is customary that a person, usually an immediate friend of the family, but not a family member, act as an usher, receiving guests and showing them to their seats.

Upon entry of the house of mourning, gentlemen must remove their hats, and not place them upon their heads again whilst inside the house.
 It is also extremely rude to laugh, talk loudly or expect to talk to the immediate family at the funeral. All animosities with the deceased should be put aside and forgotten.

 After the remembrance of the deceased, the Priest, Clergyman, Undertaker or person proceeding the funeral will enter the first carriage, with the coffin being entered behind in the hearse, the six pallbearers will walk, 3 aside of the hearse (or in some cases in a carriage in front of the hearse).
 The carriage directly behind the hearse should contain the immediate family of the deceased, followed by other family members.

 Whilst the body of the deceased is being carried by the pallbearers, and whilst the funeral procession passes them ALL guests, male and female should uncover and bow their heads as a mark of respect.

 In some quarters, it is common that, before the funeral procession leaves the cemetery, mourners are allowed a chance to lay on the coffin, white flowers or blossoms. If the deceased was of the Navy or Military (sometimes the Police Force) a sash, sword, flag or some other memorial adornment may be laid upon the coffin at this point.

 At the cemetery, the Clergymen (person proceeding the funeral) enter the cemetery first and precedes the mourners to the grave site. Followed by the pallbearers with the coffin, once the mourners have gathered, the pallbearers will lower the deceased into their final resting place. The Clergyman will recite the final prayers, and the mourners will depart to their homes.

The people of Australia have settled upon no prescribed periods for the wearing of mourning. Some wear them long after their hearts have ceased to mourn. Where there is profound grief, no rules are needed, but where the sorrow is not so great, there is a need for observance of fixed periods for wearing mourning. Australian etiquette Melbourne: People's Publishing Co., 1886.

NEXT WEEK: Death in the Victorian Era part 6: The Graveyard Walker

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Death in the Victorian Era (part 4)
 – Post Mortem Photography 

“What a comfort it is to possess the image of those who are removed from our sight. We may raise an image of them in our minds but that has not the tangibility of one we can see with our bodily eyes.”- Flora A.Windeyer, in a letter to Rev. John Blomfield, November 1870.

 It was commonplace, for those that could afford it in the Victorian Era, to have portraits of family members commissioned during their lifetime, or upon death. With the invention of photography, a far cheaper form of memorial portrait came into existence, “post-mortem photography”, also known as ‘Memento Mori’ (In Latin “Remember that you must die” or in Art; an object, such as a skull (or photograph) as a reminder of death or mortality).

 A photograph would be taken of the deceased loved one, sometimes laying in their coffin, or they might be propped up in a chair sitting amongst living family members or posed, through specially made apparatus, to be standing, as if alive, posed with their favourite possessions.

The usual practice was for the deceased to appear as if they were sleeping peacefully.
 On occasion, children would be made to sit beside their dead relative for a photo, could you imagine how disturbing this must’ve been for a young child?

 The whole experience was to remember the deceased loved one, who would soon be buried, and to be able to gaze upon than that one last time. Some families even went to the trouble of having postcards made of the deceased person to send to family members on the other side of the country, or the world!

Next Week: Death in the Victorian Era part 5: Victorian Funeral Etiquette

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Death in the Victorian Era part 3: 
Funeral Customs and Superstitions

 Victorian Era customs pertaining to death were very strict. Most people of the era abided by them, believing that bad things could happen to them if they did not.
 It was customary upon the time of death (or as close to it as possible) to stop all the clocks in the house (to stop bad luck); to draw all the curtains in the house and cover all the mirrors with sheets of crepe to stop the spirit of the recently deceased getting trapped inside the mirror.
 Sometimes family photos would be placed face down in the home, which was thought to prevent the recently deceased from possessing the living relatives.


Wreaths would be tied to the front door, lychgate or sometimes front fence, usually made of laurel, yew or boxwood; adorned with black ribbons, to signify a death in the house.

 The body of the deceased would usually be washed and laid out in his or her finest clothing in a room of the house. A family member would then sit with the body for 3 to 4 days, 24 hours a day, just to make sure they were actually dead. This is where we get the modern term “a wake” from.
 The room would be filled with flowers, scented candles, sometimes pine branches or anything else suitable to mask smells that would inevitably come from the deceased body.

 Some families would also take a photo with the body, this was known as ‘Memento Mori’ (of which I’ll be explaining in next week’s blog).
 In later periods of the Victorian Era, it also became commonplace for the deceased person’s body to be carried from the home feet first, restricting the spirit from looking back into the home and beckoning another family member to follow him to death.

 Children’s deaths however were treated a little differently as their innocence was often honoured by white coffins and white silk sheets, white gloves, and on occasion, where available, ostrich plumes

 Some of the many superstitions from the period include:
Never wear new clothes, shoes or jewellery to a funeral.

 
Rain on a funeral procession is a sign that the deceased is going to Heaven.

 
If you hear a clap of thunder following a burial it indicates that the soul of the departed has reached heaven.

 
If a number of deaths have occurred in the one house or family, the tying of black ribbons to anything living that is to enter one's house, including dogs, cats and other pets, will protect against death spreading within the household.

You may have heard this one in your youth, I certainly remember it:
 Cover your mouth while yawning so your spirit doesn’t escape and the devil cannot enter your body. This also applies to someone saying “bless you” after sneezing, stopping your soul from escaping and a roaming spirit from possessing your body!

It is bad luck to meet a funeral procession head-on. If you see one approaching, turn around.  If this is unavoidable, hold on to a button or religious medallion until the funeral cortege passes.

There are lots of superstitions from this period relating directly to someone you know dying, including, but not limited to the following:

If you see an owl in the daytime, there will be a death.

If you see yourself in a dream, your death will follow.

If you dream about a birth, someone you know will die.

If a picture falls off the wall, there will be the death of someone you know.

If a firefly/lightning bug gets into your house someone will soon die.

If you smell roses when none are around someone is going to die.

If a bird pecks on your window or crashes into one that there has been a death.

If a sparrow lands on a piano, someone in the home will die.

Two deaths in the family mean that a third is sure to follow.

 Of course, being a superstitious time in human history, there were a number that dealt with ghosts 

and haunting, including the following:

Never speak ill of the dead because they will come back to haunt you or you will suffer misfortune.

If you hear 3 knocks and no one is there, it usually means someone close to you has died. The superstitious call these the 3 knocks of death. 

Maybe you’ve heard other Victorian Era superstitions, or your family, or culture has its own traditions and superstitions, join me over on Facebook and start a discussion about your own beliefs on this subject – you can find the page here:

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Next Week: Death in the Victorian Era part 4 – Post Mortem Photography