Death in the Victorian Era part 5: 
Victorian Funeral Etiquette

Outside of our Indigenous past, Australia’s settlement saw people emigrate from across the globe (it wasn’t just Europeans but also Chinese, Afghanis, Indians and many more nationalities that came to the great southern lands). With this influx of new people, came differences in religious doctrines, beliefs, customs and practices involving death and funerals.

 Our main influence though, in the Victorian Era at least was always that of our British rulers. We followed much of their traditions, although, we adapted them for our own climate, and over time became much more relaxed than the English about rules and regulations.

 The British, Victorian Era influence is still felt today in how we present and design our cemeteries, and much of the culture, stigmas and formalities that surround death and burials.

 

 The following is an example of Victorian Era etiquette regarding funerals.

 Management of a funeral would fall upon the most competent family member or friend, who isn’t overwhelmed by the death, failing this, the funeral details would be seen by the family's local Priest, and if he was not available, an undertaker.

The expense of the funeral should reflect the wealth and social standing of the deceased person. The funeral, however, should avoid becoming opulent and gaudy, and retain a sense of sorrowfulness for the loss of the loved one.

 Invitations are acceptable for those who may not be aware of the death, or who live far away. The invitations should be sent via private messenger and should include the location the procession is to leave from, and where the burial will take place. Etiquette dictates that the private messenger will acquire carriages for all invited and that all invited in this manner MUST attend the funeral.

 The family are to be the first to view the deceased remains, and invited guests are to follow, but must not be present  1 hour before the funeral start – in the one-hour period before the funeral start, and after the family has finished, the guest may view the body of the deceased at their discretion.

 It is customary that a person, usually an immediate friend of the family, but not a family member, act as an usher, receiving guests and showing them to their seats.

Upon entry of the house of mourning, gentlemen must remove their hats, and not place them upon their heads again whilst inside the house.
 It is also extremely rude to laugh, talk loudly or expect to talk to the immediate family at the funeral. All animosities with the deceased should be put aside and forgotten.

 After the remembrance of the deceased, the Priest, Clergyman, Undertaker or person proceeding the funeral will enter the first carriage, with the coffin being entered behind in the hearse, the six pallbearers will walk, 3 aside of the hearse (or in some cases in a carriage in front of the hearse).
 The carriage directly behind the hearse should contain the immediate family of the deceased, followed by other family members.

 Whilst the body of the deceased is being carried by the pallbearers, and whilst the funeral procession passes them ALL guests, male and female should uncover and bow their heads as a mark of respect.

 In some quarters, it is common that, before the funeral procession leaves the cemetery, mourners are allowed a chance to lay on the coffin, white flowers or blossoms. If the deceased was of the Navy or Military (sometimes the Police Force) a sash, sword, flag or some other memorial adornment may be laid upon the coffin at this point.

 At the cemetery, the Clergymen (person proceeding the funeral) enter the cemetery first and precedes the mourners to the grave site. Followed by the pallbearers with the coffin, once the mourners have gathered, the pallbearers will lower the deceased into their final resting place. The Clergyman will recite the final prayers, and the mourners will depart to their homes.

The people of Australia have settled upon no prescribed periods for the wearing of mourning. Some wear them long after their hearts have ceased to mourn. Where there is profound grief, no rules are needed, but where the sorrow is not so great, there is a need for observance of fixed periods for wearing mourning. Australian etiquette Melbourne: People's Publishing Co., 1886.

NEXT WEEK: Death in the Victorian Era part 6: The Graveyard Walker

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